The biggest impediment in business and life
SPOILER ALERT: it’s Nostalgia!
If we wouldn’t have feelings and we’d keep going straight ahead, checking off our tasks from our to-do lists and accomplishing our goals and getting closer and closer to our objectives life would be easy.
It would be easy because we would not get derailed from our track.
But we’re human. And that’s even better! Because rules aren’t set in stone, our wants and needs change, markets change, opportunities close, other opportunities open. The world itself is alive and everchanging!
Nobody enjoys the negative feelings of doubting oneself. …But by doubting our choices we can think beyond them and change course toward something better. Having second thoughts might have saved you once or twice from making a really bad decision. It’s difficult to address this issue, because people have problems with over-doubting their choices, and other people have problems with not thinking enough about their choices and their consequences.
Negative feelings aren’t useless, they carry a message.
However, what I wanted to talk about was “grinding to halt”. And a common cause of it: nostalgia. Not in the sense of thinking back to pleasant memories. But in the sense of not thinking enough about the future and not doing anything about it in the present.
It Keeps You Stuck
I remember when I worked with somebody I was very keen on collaborating with. My job with that person was a one-off job, not a regular thing. And ,at one point, I minimised my productivity to making very very small steps to accomplishing it. Because I didn’t want our work relationship to end.
I now learnt from that experience. The truth is, I always knew what I had to do and what was the right course of action. And I did keep a healthy line of communication with the person. But I got caught by surprise by my aversion of finishing the job and ending my collaboration with that person, whom I admired and from whom I could learn so much.
I ended up pulling a couple of all-nighters to get the work done, but I got it done. And I delivered on the job. But for a couple of unproductive days, that later turned into a week and then into 2 weeks, I wasn’t making any significant progress. And I could feel that. I ALMOST grounded to a halt.
Now that I have gone through this, I am better suited to recognise it the next time it starts to stem and I can prevent it from happening.
And after doing some reading, I found that it’s quite common to be more motivated and stride towards a goal, when the goal is quite far. One becomes complacent and unproductive once they reached the goal and don’t have a destination anymore.
It’s also noteworthy that I was lucky to be good at my job and eventually delivered, otherwise I would have been wasting his time and my time.
So having goals and keeping on track is a responsibility you have for yourself. But, you see, when you make a promise to somebody, keeping yourself going and productive now becomes a responsibility you have towards them.
Progressing and Finding New Opportunities
Sometimes opportunities are around the corner. But if you don’t go there, you won’t find them.
Each day is unpredictable and full of surprises. Each day is a great day to work on your projects and learn something new and reach out to interesting people. Each day is a good day to make positive change and give value to other people.
And it’s daunting throwing yourself into the unknown. It’s not always pitch black unknown — sometimes you know your way around and sometimes you can rely on your skills of finding your way.
But sometimes it really is pitch black. And staying in one place will yield nothing. Every day you have to strive to become better than yesterday and get stuff done. Stuff that is meaningful and which, by the end of it, you’ll be happy that you done it.
Christopher Columbus didn’t plan on discovering America. Yet, by throwing himself in the vast ocean (literally) of unknown, he found more than he initially expected.
We tend to rely heavily on what we “know”. And forget that there is way much more that we don’t know. However, seeing is believing, and we can’t predict what we’ll encounter. But one thing we can predict: if we don’t throw ourselves into the vast unknown (starting a new project, pitching a business partnership, picking up something new to learn, etc.), then we can’t expect anything new to occur.
Somebody once told me this:
“If you stay in one place, you’re actually going backwards, because everyone else is going forwards.”
I still don’t like that phrase to this day. But I can’t argue with it no matter how much I try 😂
You Miss Out on Fun (and You Doubt Your Capabilities)
Like the Smash Mouth song goes:
“Didn’t make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with taking the back streets?
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”
(that kinda summarises my point)
The most fun I have had in my life came from venturing into the unknown. Upping the stakes only made things more “worth-it” and got me more involved.
I got hurt indeed. A lot sometimes. And I don’t want to say that I deserved it. But a lot of times I needed it. And I got closer to the type of person I want to be. I could have flopped, of course, and some of the losses that I went through could have broken me. But they didn’t. They gave me the choice to emerge on the other side stronger. And because I went through certain things, and I managed well, I can have faith in myself that I’ll do the right thing if I encounter the same situation.
I guess that’s what gaining experience is all about.
You too should have more faith in yourself! Especially when you want to cling tight to where you are now. That is just pessimism and lack-of-trust in your capabilities. And the only thing you can do is accept it as a normal feeling that everybody has. An automated reaction telling you to “look out” and “be careful”. Acknowledge it and go forward!
Conclusion
It seems that most people who have attained reputable success took at some point large amounts of risk. But they decided it was worth it. And it paid out for them.
…And they didn’t give up either.
It will ALWAYS be tempting to crawl into a bubble of comfort and “safety”. But you don’t progress by staying in one place, and you don’t find anything new by clinging to what you already have.
Like Seth Godin says, “Go make a ruckus!”
